Working with Your Child’s School

A question I am often asked is how we managed to obtain supports at school for our son. The short answer is get involved.  Simple I know, but it is the best advice I received prior to our son going to school. 

I was fortunate to be able to be home full-time when our son started school.  I volunteered three mornings per week in the learning centre which afforded me direct access to the resource teacher.  She was an excellent sounding board when I was struggling with our son’s behavior and related learning challenges; and was able to provide advice grounded in experience. I also got to know my son’s teacher, the educational program assistant in my son’s classroom and the principal. 

Communication with your child’s school is key.  Don’t assume your child’s teacher will know how to best teach your child, or know what your child needs.  You know your child best.  It is important to share with the school what works for your child at home and what doesn’t; and which interventions have you sought. 

The services your child may have been provided pre-school will not automatically be transferred to school.  You will need to ensure the school is provided with reports and ensure you sign authorization for ongoing need for these services to be assessed.  I found this especially frustrating because the occupational therapy our son received pre-school was incredibly helpful; and I assumed these services would be in place when our son started school.  I shared reports and met with the principal of our son’s school previous to school starting; however in September I needed to complete a form to request occupational therapy services. There was a delay in having interventions put in place in the classroom as a result of this process.

I believe my son’s school staff does as much as it can with the resources afforded.  Unfortunately, it is not always sufficient for all children.  It is also important to know that resources provided through school do not continue over the summer months.  If your child requires ongoing intervention, seek out services available within your community.  Near the end of our son’s first year of school, I sought out additional resources through our public health care system.  Our son attended an assessment and was assigned to an occupational therapist who he continued to see during the next school year.  The occupational therapist worked with our school.

The important message here is that you must partner with your school to ensure your child gets what s/he needs.   If you are struggling with obtaining services, you need to ask why.  Speak with your principal, the learning teacher(s) and your child’s homeroom teacher.   Communicate your concerns and work with your school on solutions.  And keep asking!   

Putting the Puzzle Together

Having a child with special needs is like trying to put a puzzle together.  The border is fairly easy, but then you must fill in the middle and there is always that one piece that just doesn't fit, or is lost altogether.  Or extra pieces that you aren't sure how made it into the box.

And there are always people who, with the best of intensions, want to help you finish the puzzle, or give up and just let it be.  As a mother, I knew very early on that something wasn't quite right with my son.  Something just wasn't fitting and I couldn't put my finger on it.

I wondered many times if my perception of what my child would be like and reality was simply flawed.  And it certainly was, but there was more.

My mother's advice was that if you feel there is something not quite right, there likely is.  And, you keep asking until you get answers.

Developmental milestones were reached, but later than all of my friends' children of the same age.  Learning to speak however did not come eventually.  We were referred to hearing and speech which led not only to hearing and speech support, but also a referral to the autism team, and when it was ruled out a developmental assessment with a psychologist.

The psychologist advised us that there were indicators of anxiety and learning difficulties, however she wasn't sure how these concerns would develop.  Her advice was to see what happened once our son went to school.  In the meantime, she referred us to OT and PT to address worries about fine and gross motor control and sensory processing difficulties.  We also brought in a private OT to assist with address our son's difficulties with managing certain food textures, and dirty or sticky hands.  We used some tools to desensitize his mouth and hands.

Occupational therapy is, in my opinion, the most beneficial treatment for children like our son.  It provides practical strategies to aid the child (and his parents) with managing every day challenges.  If we had not afforded our son with the opportunity to attend hearing and speech therapy and occupational therapy, he would not be able to socialize with his peers as he now does.

We now have a diagnosis, which is complicated, as is our son.  The challenge we now face, now that we have the puzzle together, is how do we continue to support his needs in school.  For me, I do not want to lose the essence of who my child is through treatment or forcing him into a learning environment that does not suit his needs.  He is a  creative, out of the box thinker.   So, how do we balance that with managing within the norms of society?  This is the task at hand.