Observations On An Elevator

A little boy and his father were travelling on the same elevator as me the other day.  The father was telling his son to stop yelling.  I assumed the child was not behaving and his father was correcting him. When I looked over however I realized that wasn’t the case.

The father was holding onto his son and the little boy was struggling in his father’s grip.  When the child protested, the father would grab him in what I am sure was meant as a playful hug.   The child would yell.  The father would laugh.  The father would stop…the child would relax…the father would start up again.  In the matter of a minute, I witnessed the child cry, yell, laugh, hit and kick.  It was obvious to me that the child was overstimulated and uncomfortable with his father’s attention.   The father however did not heed the child’s repeated requests to stop holding on to him. 

I never understood why adults feel the need to interact with children in this way.   As a parent, I see it as my responsibility to empower our son to speak up when he is feeling uncomfortable.   I also want him to feel in control of his personal space.  

I don’t laugh it off when an adult is playing with my son and he cries out asking them to stop.  I tell the adult to stop and explain to them that he is uncomfortable.  If they don’t like it, too bad.   I used to make excuses for our son.  “He is sensitive to touch.”  “He has sensory processing difficulties.”  But seriously, shouldn’t adults be able to notice when what they think is play is not comfortable for the child?  And if they don’t, well then it is my job as a parent to ensure that my child’s voice is heard and that he is not put in a situation where he is uncomfortable.